How Dating Apps Made Me Think Differently About The Colour Of My Skin

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As a person of color, navigating the world of online dating has always come with its unique set of challenges. From dealing with microaggressions to facing outright racism, the experience of dating as a person of color can be vastly different from that of our white counterparts. However, it wasn't until I started using dating apps that I truly began to understand the impact of my skin color on my dating experiences.

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The Initial Excitement

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When I first joined dating apps, I was filled with excitement at the prospect of meeting new people and potentially finding love. I uploaded my best photos, crafted a witty bio, and eagerly started swiping through profiles. However, as I began to match with people and engage in conversations, I quickly realized that my experiences were being shaped by the color of my skin.

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The Fetishization of POC

One of the most startling realizations I had on dating apps was the fetishization of people of color. I found myself receiving messages from individuals who seemed to be more interested in my skin color than in getting to know me as a person. I was often bombarded with comments about my "exotic" looks or assumptions about my cultural background based solely on my appearance. It was disheartening to realize that my skin color was being reduced to a mere fetish for some individuals.

Racial Preferences and Biases

Another challenge I encountered on dating apps was the prevalence of racial preferences and biases. Many profiles explicitly stated preferences for certain races or made derogatory comments about others. This made me question whether my skin color would hinder my chances of finding a meaningful connection with someone. It was difficult to navigate through a sea of racial biases and understand whether someone was genuinely interested in me or simply saw me as a token person of color.

The Impact on Self-Image

The constant exposure to racial biases and fetishization on dating apps had a profound impact on my self-image. I found myself questioning whether my skin color made me less desirable or whether I would have to conform to certain stereotypes to be accepted. It was a constant battle to maintain a positive self-image in the face of these challenges, and I often found myself feeling insecure about my appearance and cultural background.

The Need for Representation and Inclusivity

Despite the challenges I faced, using dating apps also made me realize the importance of representation and inclusivity. I longed to see more diverse representation on these platforms and to feel valued for who I am as a person, rather than being reduced to my skin color. I also became more vocal about calling out racial biases and advocating for inclusivity within the online dating community.

Empowerment and Resilience

Ultimately, my experiences on dating apps have made me more empowered and resilient in navigating the world of online dating as a person of color. I have learned to assert my worth and not settle for anyone who sees me solely through the lens of my skin color. I have also found strength in connecting with others who share similar experiences and have used my voice to advocate for change within the online dating space.

Moving Forward

While dating apps have undoubtedly made me think differently about the color of my skin, I am hopeful for a future where individuals of all skin colors are valued and respected in the online dating world. I believe that by continuing to challenge racial biases, advocating for inclusivity, and uplifting diverse voices, we can create a more equitable and welcoming space for all individuals to find love and connection. As a person of color, I am committed to being a part of this change and to ensuring that no one feels marginalized or fetishized based on their skin color.